Is It Okay to Feel Bored? Why We Struggle with Stillness?
Yes, it is okay to feel bored. In fact, being able to sit with boredom without immediately reaching for your phone, work or something to keep you occupied can give you something many of us have lost: the ability to be still.
Why do we find it so difficult to feel bored?
Think about the last time you had nothing to do. No emails, no housework, no messages, no appointment, no television and no phone in your hand.
How long could you sit there before you felt the urge to do something?
For many of us, probably not very long.
We have become so used to filling every gap in the day that saying, “I’m busy,” almost feels like a badge of honour. We say it when someone asks how we are. We tell ourselves we need to answer that email, tidy something, check our phone, listen to a podcast or get one more thing done.
But why are we so uncomfortable with doing nothing?
Part of the answer may be that we have become less comfortable with our own internal experience. When life becomes quiet, there is suddenly space to notice what is happening inside us. You may notice thoughts you have been avoiding, emotions you haven’t had time to feel, or simply the discomfort of not knowing what to do next.
Research on boredom gives us an interesting way of understanding this. Psychologists Erin Westgate and Timothy Wilson describe boredom as a state that can occur when we struggle to engage our attention in something that feels meaningful or sufficiently stimulating. In other words, boredom is more than simply having nothing to do. It can tell us something about our attention and what we are experiencing in that moment.
And sometimes, boredom is the first doorway into stillness.
Are we giving children enough opportunity to feel bored?
Think about how many children’s days are organised now.
School during the week. Homework. Clubs. Football. Activities. Birthday parties. Plans at the weekend. And when a child finally has some free time and says, “I’m bored,” our first instinct can be to find something for them to do.
“Here, have your tablet.”
“Why don’t you watch something?”
“Go and play a game.”
Of course, there is nothing wrong with children enjoying technology or having organised activities. The question is whether we are leaving enough space for children to discover what they can do when nobody is entertaining them.
The American Academy of Pediatrics has highlighted the importance of play and unstructured time for children’s development, including executive functioning, creativity, problem-solving and self-regulation. Research also suggests that breaks from structured cognitive work can help children refocus.
So when a child says, “I’m bored,” we don’t necessarily need to rescue them from the feeling.
Sometimes we can simply say, “I know. Let’s see what you come up with.”
They may complain again. They may wander around. They may eventually make something, invent a game, go outside, draw, read or simply sit for a while.
And that’s okay.
Children don’t need every empty moment filled for them.
Why are adults so uncomfortable with stillness?
I think adults can be even more frightened of boredom.
We keep ourselves busy with work, social plans, exercise, shopping, scrolling, television, podcasts, household tasks and endless things that need our attention.
The phrase “I’m so busy” can almost make us feel important.
But try to understand what happens when the busyness stops.
You sit down.
The room is quiet.
Nobody needs anything from you.
And suddenly your mind starts talking.
What should I be doing?
I need to check my phone.
I should answer that message.
I need to sort that out.
I don’t have time to sit here.
For someone who has lived with anxiety for a long time, stillness can feel particularly unfamiliar. When your mind has spent years anticipating problems or trying to stay one step ahead of what might happen, doing nothing can feel strangely uncomfortable.
This doesn’t mean that every experience of boredom comes from anxiety or an overactive nervous system. Boredom has many causes. But for some people, learning to become comfortable with quietness is part of learning that they don’t always have to be doing, solving or anticipating something.
And this is where boredom connects with meditation.
Boredom can become a doorway into stillness
Meditation can sound like something completely separate from everyday life.
You sit down, close your eyes and try to stop thinking.
But that isn’t really the point.
Meditation asks you to notice what is happening without immediately reacting to it. You notice your breathing. You notice your thoughts. You notice sensations in your body. Your mind wanders, you notice it, and you gently bring your attention back.
That is very different from constantly distracting yourself.
And this is why learning to tolerate small amounts of boredom can be useful. You are practising staying with an experience rather than immediately escaping it.
The research around mindfulness and meditation is quite encouraging, particularly for stress and anxiety. Reviews have found small to moderate benefits for anxiety symptoms, although the research varies between different meditation approaches and conditions.
So perhaps we don’t always need to ask, “How can I get rid of my boredom?”
Sometimes we can ask, “Can I sit with this feeling for a little while and see what I notice?”
One of my clients experienced boredom for the first time
One of my clients said something during a session that stayed with me.
He had been having a quiet weekend. Nothing particularly exciting was happening. He was simply sitting there when he suddenly thought, “I’m bored.”
It sounds like such an ordinary thought. But then he paused and realised something: he couldn’t remember feeling bored like this before.
There was no problem he was trying to solve. Nothing was demanding his attention. His mind wasn’t racing from one thought to another. He was simply sitting there, with nothing happening.
And he was bored.
For someone who had lived with anxiety for much of his life, this was actually quite a significant moment.
He had come to therapy because of anxiety that had been with him for a long time. His earlier life experiences had been unpredictable and difficult, and he had learned to stay alert to what might happen next. Over the years, that state of alertness had become so familiar that he had almost forgotten what it felt like to genuinely relax.
He had become used to being busy, thinking ahead, anticipating problems and keeping himself occupied. In a way, anxiety had become familiar to him.
We had been working together with EFT, alongside talking therapy, focusing on some of the emotional experiences underneath his anxiety and helping him develop a greater sense of safety in his body.
And then, something began to change.
He noticed that there were moments when he didn’t need to be on alert. He didn’t need to solve anything. He didn’t need to keep himself occupied.
And in one of those moments, he felt bored.
He wasn’t distressed by it.
He wasn’t trying to escape it.
He simply noticed it.
For him, boredom meant something very different this time. There was enough quiet for him to experience what it felt like when nothing needed his immediate attention.
That was beautiful.
Because sometimes, when you have spent years living with anxiety, being bored can be the first sign that you are finally learning what stillness feels like.
What can EFT do when stillness feels uncomfortable?
Sometimes sitting quietly doesn’t feel peaceful at all.
You may sit down to meditate and suddenly feel anxious. Your thoughts become louder. You feel restless. You want to get up. You start thinking about everything you need to do.
This is where EFT tapping can be helpful as a tool alongside therapy and other approaches.
EFT, or Emotional Freedom Techniques, combines elements such as focusing on an emotional experience and using tapping on specific points on the body. Research into EFT for anxiety is growing. A 2025 systematic review of seven randomised controlled trials involving 506 participants found reductions in anxiety symptoms in the EFT groups compared with no intervention, although the researchers also identified limitations in the quality of some of the studies.
In my work, I might use tapping when someone notices that slowing down brings up anxiety, fear, guilt or restlessness.
For example, you might gently tap while acknowledging:
“Even though I feel uncomfortable when I stop, I can allow myself to slow down for a moment.”
You don’t have to convince yourself that everything is fine.
You are simply giving yourself permission to notice what is happening.
Maybe you notice anxiety.
Maybe you notice tiredness.
Maybe you realise how much you have been carrying.
Maybe you notice that you don’t actually feel anything in particular.
And that’s okay too.
What happens if you stop escaping boredom?
The next time you feel bored, try something very simple.
Before reaching for your phone, give yourself five minutes.
Sit somewhere comfortable. Feel your feet on the floor. Notice your breathing. Look around the room. Listen to the sounds around you.
Then ask yourself:
“What am I experiencing right now?”
You don’t have to make the answer meaningful.
You don’t have to turn it into a meditation session.
You don’t even have to enjoy it.
Just notice.
This is the beginning of stillness.
And with practice, stillness can become less uncomfortable. You begin to realise that you can sit quietly without immediately needing stimulation, distraction or another task.
You might even discover that boredom isn’t really the problem.
Perhaps what you were missing was the ability to simply be.
So, is boredom good for you?
I wouldn’t say that we need to make ourselves bored all day or that boredom is automatically beneficial.
But I do think there is something valuable about becoming comfortable with moments when nothing is happening.
We live with so much stimulation that silence can feel strange. We have become very good at filling the gaps, and sometimes those gaps are exactly where we get the chance to notice ourselves.
Boredom can be one of those gaps.
It can lead you towards stillness.
Stillness can give you space to notice your thoughts, emotions and body.
And that awareness is at the heart of meditation.
You don’t need to sit for an hour with your eyes closed. Start with five minutes. Start with one quiet cup of tea without your phone. Sit in the garden. Look out of the window. Let your child be bored for a little while without immediately solving it.
The aim isn’t to become someone who never feels restless.
It is to become a little more comfortable with being where you are.
And that’s okay.
A simple boredom-to-stillness practice
The next time you hear yourself say, “I’m bored,” don’t immediately try to change the feeling.
Pause.
Put your phone down and sit somewhere comfortable for five minutes. Feel your feet on the floor and notice your breathing without trying to change it.
Then ask yourself:
What am I feeling?
Where do I feel it in my body?
What happens if I don’t immediately do something about it?
If anxiety or discomfort comes up, you can use a few rounds of gentle EFT tapping while acknowledging what you are experiencing.
Then sit quietly for another minute.
You are not trying to achieve anything.
You are practising being still.
And sometimes, that is enough.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it okay to feel bored?
Yes. Boredom is a normal human experience. Research suggests that boredom can arise when our attention is not sufficiently engaged or when what we are doing does not feel meaningful or stimulating enough.
Why do I feel uncomfortable when I have nothing to do?
If you are used to constant stimulation, responsibility or worry, quietness can feel unfamiliar. When there is nothing outside you demanding your attention, you may suddenly become more aware of your thoughts and feelings.
Can anxiety make it difficult to sit still?
Yes. When your attention is repeatedly drawn towards worries, responsibilities or possible problems, quietness can feel uncomfortable. This doesn’t mean that every difficulty with stillness is caused by anxiety, but learning to notice thoughts and bodily sensations without immediately reacting to them can be useful.
Can EFT help when stillness makes me anxious?
EFT may be useful as one tool for working with anxiety and emotional discomfort. Recent research has found promising results, although the evidence is still developing and EFT should not be presented as a replacement for appropriate psychological or medical care.
What should I do when I feel bored?
Before immediately reaching for your phone, give yourself a few minutes to simply notice the feeling. Sit somewhere quiet, feel your feet on the floor, notice your breathing and ask yourself what you are experiencing. You may find that the boredom passes, or you may discover that you actually neseded some stillness.
